5 Reasons I’m Glad We Threw A Big Wedding

Having gotten married just last month, the accompanying joys (and wounds) of the whole affair still feel quite fresh. But despite all of the anxiety that came along with the planning and executing of such a celebration (e.g. “You’re inviting who?”; “We still don’t have a rabbi??”; “WHERE ARE MY F***ING CUFFLINKS???”), I have to say that I’m happy my bride and I opted for a large wedding rather than eloping in Vegas before a few drunk Elvis-impersonating witnesses. Through my experience, I’ve come to believe that any wedding – whether a small, intimate get-together with your immediate family, or a giant, three-day blowout featuring fireworks and fountains with breaching orca whales – can provide a couple with one of the most fun, fulfilling and memorable days of their collective lives. Here’s why:

Feasting Like Royalty

Ultimately, a wedding is nothing more than a big-ass party. And for my big-ass party, I made sure there’d be plenty of booze and food to go ’round. As the groom, I got to play King Joffrey (minus all the killing), hand-picking every gourmet appetizer, craft dessert and small batch bourbon that would be doled out at the reception (within limits, of course – I didn’t exactly have a king’s budget). Sure, there’s stress in determining all these details, but if you don’t mind paying a bit more for it, you can always find an all-inclusive catering hall or hotel to do the dirty work. Or, if you’re not a control-freak Groomzilla like I am, I guess you could let your fiancee make some decisions, too….

ALSO: Eloping: Why It’s The Only Way To Get Married

Pimp-Ass Makeovers

Knowing full well that my wedding would be the only event for which it is socially acceptable to dress like a prince (or like the musician Prince, if one prefers), I totally went for it. Ultimately, I passed on the sherbet orange tuxedo and top hat from “Dumb and Dumber” that I’d been eying for a slightly more conservative custom-made three-piece suit – but I still felt like a movie star. Meanwhile, my bride enjoyed all-day pampering from a hair stylist and makeup artist, and looked like an angel as she floated down the aisle in a beautiful gown. She had the time of her life, and looked great doing it. She may never use that dress again — but isn’t that what eBay’s for? (I refuse to allow my wife to frame the dress above our bed like a taxidermied pet.)

Getting Crunk with Friends

Perhaps the best part of hosting our own wedding was that we got to hang with everyone in the world we care about. That’s not to say the gathering was without its awkward interactions — but fortunately I was able to put aside my beef with Uncle Morty over the “Great Passover Quarrel of 2009″ for one night in order to focus on appreciating the guests who meant the most to me. If you’re able to do the same, you, too, can have the time of your life dancing the hora with your high school pals and shooting tequila with Grandma Gladys. When else will you ever have such a complete assembly of beloved characters in a single room? I wouldn’t have traded that opportunity for anything in the world (except for a million bucks, ’cause then I could have thrown an even bigger party).

Lifelong Memories

By hiring skilled photographers and videographers to document the gathering of all our favorite people, we hoped to provide our entire family with a lifetime of smiles (anyone know if Hallmark is hiring?). And boy, did it pay off. The party may have only lasted one night, but now we’ve got an incredible record of it to share with our future children. Plus, I managed to obtain an endless source of blackmail material (I may or may not have footage of my brother drunkenly making out with a second cousin). For bonus fun, I highly recommend hiring a photobooth. We did, and by midnight, our friends had totally forgotten that my wife and I would eventually have access to the photos they were taking. At last I possess shirtless pics of certain guests I’ve always wanted to see nude (and some I certainly have not).

Everyone Loves a Wedding

As much as we enjoyed planning and customizing the details of our wedding to our liking, we knew we weren’t ultimately putting the whole shebang together for ourselves, but for everyone who loves us. For one thing, our friends and family — especially our parents — wanted to bear witness to our marriage. (In some cases, because they wouldn’t have otherwise believed it actually happened.) Not only did these people want to be there for the ceremony, but they wanted to revel in the joy of the occasion with us, which is what a reception is really all about. C’mon: who doesn’t love to rage out at a great wedding? Before you run off to city hall or Walt’s Shotgun Wedding Shack in the seclusion of the Appalachian Mountains, think of those poor, hungry, thirsty, dance-deprived pals of yours.